Falling Bittersweetly
by Timbereads
Summary: When House finds Cameron listening to an NSYNC song, he is thorougly disgusted...but what if that song hits awfully close to home? HouseCameron, song ficish, but not really


House groaned as his alarm clock screamed, signaling the start of another long and torturous day. Long because he'd undoubtedly spend most of it hiding from Cuddy, torturous because he'd also be hiding from _her_. It didn't seem fair that he would see her during the day and the night when he tossed and turned and cursed his unlucky stars for ever having led him to Allison Cameron. He wished she'd just leave him alone.

Wrapping his jacket tightly around his torso, House stumped to his bike, but not before glaring at the bird whose tweets were annoyingly cheerful for such an unremarkable day. The sky was blue, but not overly so, and the sun was shining, but not brightly. It was cold, but not bitterly so. It was a very indistinguishable day.

Cameron rolled out of bed at exactly six-oh-five, just like always. By the time she'd showered and dressed, the cereal she'd poured for herself was soggy and warm, and she threw it out, just like always. She didn't even like cereal; why she bought it was a mystery to her, but every few weeks, a new box would be placed in the pantry, along with the chicken broth and the Ramen noodles she brought to the hospital with her.

She smiled as she walked to her car, enjoying the refreshing sting the cold inflicted upon her upturned cheeks. A bird was singing, the sun was shining, the sky was blue. All in all, she decided, a beautiful day.

--oo--

He was enjoying the performance Cameron was giving from the security of his darkened office. Her headphones were firmly covering her ears, and the fact that she was in a room with glass walls seemed to have been forgotten along with the paperwork she'd been doing before digging out her iPod from her purse. At first, her lip-synching and head bobbing, while annoying, were easy enough for House to ignore; he started paying attention when the table became her drums and the air became her guitar. Occasionally she'd pause her "dancing" long enough to flick the click wheel and change songs.

House had to bite back a bark of laughter when she started doing the choreography to the Macarena, though he felt his heartbeat race when she got to the hip-roll. Still, he shook his head and turned up his own music before turning back to his magazine.

--oo--

It was something she did almost weekly. Usually in the privacy of her own home, granted, but tradition was tradition, and sometimes her schedule just didn't allot any time for such frivolous activities, so she had to make do with an empty conference room. Sacrifices must be made for tradition, you see.

She wasn't sure anyone even knew she owned an iPod. Truth be told, she bought one a few days after House showed up with his, but that was something she'd take to the grave. She reserved only a few hundred songs for the device; most of her collection was collecting dust in her CD cabinet. She chose each song for a reason. Most were fast, with heavy bass lines and upbeat lyrics. There was little space for ballads. Tradition dictates.

It was her stress release method. She saw it on Oprah at least eight years ago and continued practicing ever since. Spaz Out, she called it. Well, Zach had named it when she'd demonstrated it's healing powers to him at the hospital and the title had stuck.

The concept was simple: turn up some good music and let yourself go. She could almost feel the layers of stress and exhaustion slip off her shoulders like linen by the second verse. Sure, she looked ridiculous, but as no one was privy to her Spaz Out but herself, it didn't matter.

Cameron was careful about guarding her ritual closely. No one could see it, and no one could ever scroll through the songs loaded on her iPod. She'd be mortified if that happened. It would be hard to explain away Britney Spears to her co-workers. She was also sure that some part of her secrecy over music choice was due to the absolute disapproval she would be bound to receive from House. That alone was enough to convince her to hide the iPod in her glasses case, wrapped up in tissues.

Paranoid? Yes. But the Spaz Out was a secret tradition, and Allison Cameron wanted to keep it that way.

--oo--

House bit into his apple and once more wished he could escape to the safety of his piano, but Cuddy had camped out down the hall, determined to force him to finish his charting. Well, she could try until she was blue in the face. Gregory House does not do charting, on a matter of principle. Or something. He'd think of a reason eventually.

Sighing, he limped to the door of his office and poked his head out. The Dean of Medicine was still reclining in a chair, reading Cosmopolitan.

"O cruel jailor," House yelled, smirking when she jumped in surprise. "Might I have but a moment to empty my bladder before I am once more chained to my desk?"

"Be quick, or I will be forced to bring out the whip."

He swallowed the obvious sex joke perched on his tongue and walked to the bathroom. He didn't actually have to pee, but the change of scenery was nice. He squinted at himself in the mirrors. His crow's feet were a bit more pronounced then he wanted, and he almost screamed in horror when he noticed the hair poking out of his ear. Wincing in anticipation, House pulled the offending strand out. Shit, he was getting old.

--oo--

Her heels clicked softly against the polished floors of the hospital, pausing once only to allow for a quick, questioning glance when she saw Cuddy flipping through a magazine outside House's office. Otherwise, the hall was empty; most of the staff had left.

Good. Less people she'd have to worry about spotting her whilst in the middle of her Spaz Out. She slipped the buds in her ears, slid into her chair at the table and turned on the shuffle mode. A slow piano riff floated into her ears.

_I don't know how_

_I don't know why_

_But girl, it seems_

_You've touched my life_

--oo--

He was surprised to see Cameron at the conference table as he walked back to his own office. He spared a glance in Cuddy's direction. His boss had abandoned her post. A flash of movement brought his eyes back to his female duckling. He watched her unwrap an iPod from a wad of tissues and turn it on. Instantly, the tension in her shoulders melted away and though he could not see her face, House was sure he'd find a dreamy look plastered on it.

He noticed that she wasn't dancing like she'd been that afternoon. He figured she must have been listening to a slower song, if the soft sway of her back was anything to go by. He watched as she set her pen down and began to snap her fingers.

And suddenly, as the streetlights flickered on outside and a janitor turned on vacuum somewhere, House wanted to know what she was listening to. He guessed it would be some eighties pop crap. Tiffany, perhaps. He grinned at the thought but pushed open the glass door and walked quietly up to her. Cameron had her eyes closed and was much to immersed in the music to notice his sudden presence. He took advantage of her oblivious state and reached over her shoulder, picking up the iPod. The movement of her headphone cord brought her back to earth.

It was too late. She stared in horror as her boss read the song title plastered on the screen. Slow motion, that's how she saw it. The surprised lift in his eyebrows, the condescending smirk that twitched over his lips, the guttural snort that he let break the rich silence of the room. Crap.

"Give that back!" she cried finally, snatching at the device. House raised it over his head, far out of reach from her five foot three stature.

"I'm not done looking yet, Cameron. Although, really, I am quite disappointed." Her shoulders sank. There it was. "All these years you've spent in my company, and you're still listening to NSYNC?" He clucked his tongue and peered once more at the screen. " 'Song: Falling. Artist: NSYNC. Album: Unreleased Bonus Track.' Wait, this isn't even a song you can find easily? You had to search this crap down?"

She nodded ruefully, eyes on her feet. _This_ was why no one was allowed to touch her iPod.

"They're actually pretty good, House. You have to give them a chance."

"Riiiight. I will listen to boy bands over my dead body."

"You're being prejudice! They can _sing_." Cameron wasn't even sure why she was defending NSYNC's honor to someone who would never listen anyway.

Indeed, House was ignoring her, choosing instead to flick through more of her music. Her heart sank. "Sweet Jesus, Cameron! This is infested with pop music! How much NSYNC is on here, anyway?"

"67 songs. They're for my Spaz Out."

He just stared at her.

"It's how I relax," she muttered, sighing. "I put on upbeat music and dance around. Or I put on slow songs and melt. May I have it back now."

"Ah, so that was what you were doing this afternoon," he said, more to himself than his duckling. He almost laughed when he saw the red flush spread across her cheeks.

"You saw that?" she squeaked. He nodded absentmindedly before picking up one displaced ear bud and stuck it in his ear, cringing. The music was paused, and his thumb hovered over "play."

"I'll make you a deal. I'll listen to…this 'music.' He air-quoted music. "If you'll listen to a _real _ballad. Okay?"

She was completely taken aback. House, willing to listen to NSYNC? The world was ending. Cameron nodded, mouth open. He rolled his eyes and started the song again. Instantly, the piano assaulted his eardrums. Well, he thought, maybe assaulted was the wrong word. It wasn't _that_ schmaltzy.

_I don't know how_

_I don't know why_

_But girl, it seems_

_You've touched my life_

_You're in my dreams_

_You're in my heart_

_I'm not myself_

_When we're apart_

House blinked. This was hitting way too close for comfort. And, much to his horror, he wasn't despising the music. He could do without the vocal riffing, but still. The harmonies were spot on, and the lyrics…shit. It was like his life as of late had been written down and given to this boy band to sing.

--oo--

Cameron watched as House blinked before closing his eyes and letting his body relax somewhat into the music. Just like she did when she listened to that particular song. This was creepy. Did House actually like it?

She had always enjoyed that song. When she'd heard it on a mix tape a friend had given her back in '02, she'd instantly fallen in love. When she'd met House, the song became even more significant. It was very autobiographical. It reflected her feelings for her boss. And that scared her a little bit. Of course, she still turned it up and relaxed every time it came up on her shuffle.

--oo--

_Something strange has come over me_

_A raging wind across my seas_

_And girl you know that your eyes are to blame_

_And what am I supposed to do?_

_If I can't get over you_

_And come to find that you don't feel the same_

House gulped when he heard the line about her eyes. Good god, her eyes were the reason he was…falling. And even though he knew she liked him, what if she couldn't deal with his crap. What if he couldn't get over her? What if?

_'Cause I'm falling, falling_

_Girl I'm falling for you_

_And I pray you're falling too_

_I've been falling, falling_

_Ever since the moment_

_I laid eyes on you_

--oo--

"House, just choose someone," Wilson groaned. "This should not be taking so long."

"Calm yourself, Jimmy. My interviews are giving me an excuse to skip clinic, so I'll keep going until I feel like it. Besides, no one has been nearly good enough to be part of my team."

"You already chose two people. That's not enough?"

House shook his head and took a sip of coffee. "Three's my lucky number. So just sit do…" He trailed off, distracted by the woman who had just stepped into his office. His throat went dry, despite the coffee that was still in it. Her green eyes were dancing, her pert lips were smiling. Oh, Jesus. She was gorgeous.

"Hello. I'm Allison Cameron. Dr. House, I presume?" She stuck out her hand; he took it, reveling in the smoothness of her palm.

"That's what they call me," he replied, hoping she couldn't hear the hoarseness in his voice. As he listened to her speak of her credentials, he couldn't stop staring at her chestnut hair and the way her cheeks seemed to get rosier by the minute.

"You're hired," he interrupted. She grinned, thanked him and left. He sank lower into his chair, ignoring the odd look Wilson was giving him.

Oh boy, he thought.

--oo--

_I lose my step_

_I lose my ground_

_I lose myself_

_When you're around_

_I'm holding on_

_For my life_

_To keep from drowning_

_In your eyes_

Cameron gulped. He'd sunk into the chair beside her, tapping out a beat with his fingertips. She never thought she'd see the day where House would appear to enjoy a pop song. She could her the faint tendrils of the lyrics through the headphones. This was her favorite part. She always felt that that verse was the one she could relate to most. His eyes were intoxicating. More than once, she'd realized how close she'd come to walking into a wall for looking at him.

--oo--

_Falling_

_Will you stay or will you go?_

_Heaven_

_Heaven knows what my future holds_

_Questions_

_Questions linger on my mind_

_Daybreak_

_From daybreak to dark of night_

_I'm falling_

_I don't know what's come over me_

--oo--

The song came to a close with a last chord and a final harmony. House opened his eyes and coughed softly, still utterly confused and totally freaked out by the close parallel to his own life.

Cameron was looking expectantly at him, waiting for an opinion.

He shrugged. "It was alright," he muttered. "Not as bad as I thought it would be. The lyrics were…interesting." He'd leave it at that. She nodded. That was good enough for her.

He shook his head and reached into his pocket, bringing out his own iPod. Cameron could see the read-out as he flicked to his play lists. She almost fell over when he chose one called 'Cameron.'

"Here," he said softly, tossing the iPod to her. "Listen to this one." With that, he took off her headphones, and his taking her iPod was not lost to her. He stuck it in his coat, and walked out. She smiled softly, before plugging in her headphones and pressing play. James Taylor's sweet voice filled her ears.

_I don't know anybody_

_Anybody like you_

_I never met anybody_

_Could make me feel the way you do_

_I wish that I could love you_

_The way you want me to_

_So scared you'll pull out the rug_

_Darling if I do_

Her smile widened.

_We got a love_

_That's bittersweet_

_You know we got a love_

_That's bittersweet_

_We got a love_

_That's bittersweet_

_You know, we got a love, oh darlin'_

_That's bittersweet._

--oo—

Song credits: Falling by NSYNC

Bittersweet by James Taylor


End file.
